feelings - Ghost in Tujiland

Potential

Me: So many people with potential have been wasted. ;_; World: No worries, I have so many people.

Community

Tuji could just draw on his own, but it is so much happier to have a community that is supportive.

Reading Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? IV

Chapter 13I didn't write about the several chapters that precede this one. How come Garland didn't know about Polokov while the Batys and Pris knew??? Chapter 14Strange that the number of friends doesn’t match. Pris said that there were 8 of them and she listed Polokov, Garland, Luba, Hasking,

feelings

Reactions

Another matter of the day was that I was asked if I agreed to a 99-page agreement. Here were my reactions. I don't want to read it. I want to escape. It is a binary answer I have to give? What the hell is that? This aligns with my interests?

mail

Mail

The guy who wanted to set up his own email server kept receiving physical mails from a friend. So far this guy kept replying by email. It felt somewhat comical and awkward and sad and warm and moving. My bag of correspondences kept growing and it took up precious space

feelings

A Fly

A fly flew into my room and buzzed around the lamp all night. A new day came. Its exhausted body lay loose on the carpet. I picked it up and dumped it in the bin full of the tear-soaked tissue paper.

feelings

Very shaken

Friggn Cloudflare wasn't really caching. Friggn Wayback Machine lazy as sloth. And just as I predicted, I don't have the memory of the incident either. All is lost in the folds of time. The context is no more. And I am being friggn so vague on my own blog. I

feelings

Light is precious

I walked a bit in nature. There were mysterious animals hopping about. Some trees were long dead without showing signs of disintegration. Perhaps wild fire is the way to clear the table. It was dark at home. The sun had set and the circuits stopped working. During the day one

feelings

Void

It was hard to start when you have essentially nothing. After forcing yourself to try and putting in best random guesses for a long time, you notice things starting to take shape. Guidelines surface and then all of a sudden you have a vision of what things should be like

feelings

Memoria

Sometime ago, I gave my Jot Touch 4, nicknamed The Magic Wand, to my dad for him to fumble in ProCreate on iPad. Ideally he would have gone on to be a great artist. In reality, he played games on iPad all day. What is worse, my magic wand was

feelings

Looking back for a bit

It was an overall abysmal period of time. It started when I was really depressed after getting expelled (as least that was how I felt like). Then I tried to make friends. Despite close proximity, people and I achieved about zero interaction. It remains a mystery how to initiate discussion.

new year

New Year

We don't have anything that we are particularly proud of. We did have done some nice work. We want to know more and work on new things. Mostly we just want to run away from hell, but we do desire change. We can do most things, but we will leave

feelings

Longest Day...

Our days have been stressful. When there is something on our mind, we cannot help but think about it and hence we lose concentration and couldn't understand the seminars we still kept attending. We are definitely not very lucky when it comes to communication with the world. We sent out

feelings

What to bring back

What we want cannot be brought back.

feelings

That which underlies

We have been dawdling mostly. Still we read a paper, which may not be the best of choice for the present us. It explains a phenomenon of repeated systems of eigenvalues by means of action of an object whose existence is still a mystery even though whose manifestation is known.

feelings

Career

We like getting into contact with people. We felt inspired, but we caught a cold. People's random remarks do exert a huge influence over us. We are very discouraged from pursuing Mathematics now. Hence the abrupt cessation of jotting down our thoughts on seminars we went to. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ We felt very

feelings

Conversation with Stranger

Today we went for lunch at the usual place. As it was quite crowded, we sat across a stranger after asking for permission. Then we had a pleasant conversation and exchanged email addresses. If one avoids certain miserable topics, then the conversation will become more enjoyable for both parties. Every

mathematics

Seminar

We did not write summaries of seminars for several days. There was a talk about swapping to a good Shimura variety to do computations. It was not clear to us what the idea of the proof was. Have we talked about this already? Then there was a talk about Eisenstein

mathematics

Staring into Black Hole, Changing to a Sensational Title

First thing first, the speaker taught us how to write German letters to avoid any confusion. He obviously had that person who could not distinguish the letters p, y and g from last time in mind. Then began the lecture proper. It was all about how automorphic forms play a

mathematics

Today's Lecture

The speaker continued his talk of relative trace formula. The relative trace formula in itself consists of two ways of expressing a period integral of a kernel function. On the spectral side, one computes the contribution from each representation. On the geometric side, one computes the contribution of orbits of

feelings

Disappointment

We are totally stricken by the recent events. We just want to fill this page with 'WTF'.

feelings

Weekend Lounging

We relaxed a bit by playing our dormant Terra Battle 2 account. The beginning is definitely dumb. All that one does is bumping angry orblings around and then slaughtering them. :O It was super boring, especially when you selected a friend with such huge AOE that everything was one-shot. This

mathematics

Talking about Our Work

We walked the trails in the morning. It was a little bit misty. The golden sunshine gently sifted through leaves that were shedding their verdant colour. The topic drifted into our past work. It was mostly hard work, laden with agony, yet sprinkled with moments of joy. We have navigated

mathematics

Hectic Packing

Packing takes up cognitive resources. :( Now we probably have all the essentials packed. What awaits us at the end of the journey? Essentials: TowelWell, we also packed soap, pants, knife, cell phone, money, passports... It really made a difference mentally after we submitted our paper. We want to do so

future

Bumpy Sailing

We are at a loss as to what to do at present, as we have achieved our intermediary goal. Furthermore, we have been dumped a lot of chores so that we don't have time to really think about the future. We simply have the urge to learn more new things.